What causes me to stumble?

so today I read Proverbs 4:19 and it really stuck with me.  "But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble."

I asked God what it meant for me.  I felt like he was telling me that there are so many instances in which we are struggling with things in our life.  Divorce, addiction, children, diet soda, food, exercise ... whatever it may be, anything in your life can become a hindrance to your closeness with Him.  You think you have control over these things.  You think your decisions are the best decisions.  Did you consult Him on it yet?  Do you have a relationship with Him?  Did you grow up with Him and now have fallen away, and maybe you just 'know' there is a God, but only think of Him when there is a natural disaster, or a bombing at a popular marathon?  Sadly, we call upon Him only when we need him, it seems.  When things are going swell we forget to thank Him for what we have, for all we've been given.  We don't share with our neighbors or the less fortunate.  We are all about owning it, having it, getting the next best thing.

If you don't know God and even if you do but you've squandered your relationship and time with Him ... He knows you.  He wants you.  He wants to chat.  He wants you to think about Him.  He wants to you pray to Him.  Acknowledge Him.  In your best moments and in your worst moments ... Jesus is standing next to you and do you know what he says?  Can you close your eyes right now, imagine that Jesus is next to you, wherever you are, He looks to you, with a smile on his face.  Do you know what he says?  He says "I love you."

He doesn't want you to stumble.  He wants you to walk with courage and faith in Him that no matter the path you are on, as long as you are using His light, His words to get down the path ... that He'll lead you through.  He never said we aren't going to hit a roadblock.  He never said that things would be easy.  He never said that we wouldn't stumble.  He knows you are going to stumble, but He just wants you to admit when you have, get back up, take His hand, His light and follow His path.

What I think He's saying to me in this verse is that if you are unaware that you are on the wrong path, you won't recognize the hindrances which are occurring.  You'll think you have them under control, you'll think that you "see" the path, but really you are just walking aimlessly towards destruction. 

What are you struggling with?  Just a few weeks ago I went from about 2 liters of diet soda a day to one can on Fridays.  At the same time I tried to quit chewing my nails, a habit from when I was about 6 years old.  I'm currently 33 so, yeah, quite a long time chewing these things.  Nasty, I know.  Also, I was struggling a little bit keeping up with the kiddos, losing energy and not sleeping well, so I also decided to kinda throttle back on the white bread, refined sugar and anything not whole wheat or a naturally occurring carbohydrate ... by natural I mean not having gone through lots of man-made machines.  And just to add another egg to the basket I thought maybe I should start jogging over my lunch hour.  My oh my!!!

Have you ever had a resolution or a promise to yourself ...?  I'm on about week 6 or 7 with all of the aforementioned activities, or lack thereof.  I'm doing pretty good.  Trust me, I'd like to drink about 5 diet mountain dews everyday.

So I was going to do some mud and sanding tonight ... after a long day it seems with the kids, trying to create a picture frame for my wife from some old, reclaimed baseboard trim we pulled off our house during remodel ... well, the frame didn't work out for the day and is currently in clamps with wood glue.  I'm hoping it'll be on the wall tomorrow.

I'm going to get some pictures up soon of the remodel, the projects, maybe even one or two of the family.  Tomorrow is coming.

Is there anything causing you to stumble?

The day started with the pitter patter of little feet across the cold wood floor.  I awoke to the words of my son “Mom!  Mom! Mom! Mom! I have to go to the bathroom! “Just go buddy.” My wife says as her head falls back to the pillow, realizing our son is not in imminent danger.  His  tone would have suggested otherwise.

We are on about week 4 of having our own bedroom.  For one year, three months and ten days we shared a bedroom with our 2 kids who are now 2 and 4.  Can you imagine?  Its hard to imagine.  (pictures of before and after of our bedroom remodel to follow)

I used to journal my thoughts and I try to connect daily with God, in hearing his voice while I journal.  Now, I’m not in the Word EVERYDAY and I need to work on that and I’m hopeful getting my thoughts out there and having you, or anyone else read this will keep me accountable to keeping on track.  Maybe we’ll help each other? No?

I’m the husband to a wife of almost 9 years.  We have a 4 5/6 year old and a 2 11/12 year old.  For those of you who aren’t good with fractions … our son will be 5 in June and our daughter 3 in May. 

I’m an open book, a man who is called to love Jesus, love my wife and family, to protect, guide and take care of them who loves his church, his friends and who is trying to just take this life one day at a time.

My wife and I lost our daughter Kate, on January 8^th of this year.  She was stillborn at 7 months.  Such a devastating time and broken heartedness.  We still grieve, but joy in her memory and the closeness its brought to our marriage and our family.  Kate also helped put into perspective the important things in life.

Well, I’m home today for pizza party Friday, where we let the kids eat on tv trays and watch a fun movie during dinner.  Almost a 5 year tradition!  Afterwards will be some shoulder and face time with my wife and I think I’m going to work on sanding some of the mud I’ve put on the sheetrock.  ugh.  Dust.  My wife loves when I work, but the dust is another issue.

Oh, and if you’re wondering the title authentic.true.north its from my journey to authentic manhood in Jesus (a work in progress) that I’m true (honest, respectable, loving, kind) to my God, my wife and you (I wasn’t in the past very kind to my wife … stay tuned) and I’m from northern Minnesota, originally.  Land of lakes and really really good maple syrup.  So .. authentic.true.north

I hope you’ll stick with me on this, check back soon!