"Kicking the tires" of cohabitation ...

My nephew is considering living with his girlfriend, who happens to be my wife's youngest sister.  Not too complicated, but my nephew will most likely become my brother-in-law.  My wife's family is from Arkansas so what can you say?  I'm only joking!  Don't hate on me you ridgerunners, you!

So after contemplating their idea of living together for about a split second I was a little upset, a lot upset because my wife and I had some major problems in our life, mainly due to my weak reactions to my own insecurities and failing faith.  Our sexual deviance before marriage caused a large rift in the fabric of our marriage and we were not prepared, I know I wasn't, to deal with the cataclysmic events that followed. 

I wrote the following letter home yesterday, to my wife regarding the cohabitation.  I believe you will see my point of view and would welcome any replies you may have.  Keep in mind I was venting and grammar and punctuation may not be well completed.  (like it is anyway!)

You suffered pain. You suffered heartache. You were torn apart and I got to know all too well God’s wrath during those times. We did not come through unscathed. There are hurts, pains and memories we pray God would blot out of our memories. We are thankful that He has, in every way, graced us with His mercy, His love and yes, His forgetfulness following His forgiveness.

To not share this concept that marriage is the most important, fundamental building block of all things to me is in fact a sin. So I feel obligated to share with them as to not present a mixed message. Cohabitation is not OK. The worship of God, knowing who He is, only this can surmount the importance He has given the institution He created. He will not take lightly to the idea of rebuking His creation. To scoff at God, to laugh in his face, to say that you know better than He? Now as a follower, as a believer, someone who has heard from the mouth of God the importance of his creations, His people and his covenants, to have your loved ones not take seriously those words, is akin to a slap in our face for saying that they would know better than God, than fellow believers who have been through the fire of sexual deviance regarding God’s laws. There is a physical pain deep inside when my mind pours over the potential for the disastrous results that they face by creating this hurdle, before their lives together were to even begin.

I am extremely concerned for this situation and I pray to Him there is another way for things to work out, as I feel deeply moved to say that He has other options than living together before marriage.

Most of all, I would like to say, you are my one and only all-time favorite and I am blessed for you.